Continue to Fall on My Sword

Just when I think I am starting to do something of value, I fall on my sword. Just when I think I am doing right, I fall on my sword. Two steps forward, one fatal step back, I fall on on my sword. You think your life is pretty well in tact until you fall on your sword. We realize, apologize, organize, strategize, compromise and then, something dies.

"I have set before you today life and good, death and evil." Deuteronomy 30:15

We sin. We know we sin. We feel bad about our sins. We seek forgiveness for our sins. We confess and feel better about our situation. What's done is done, right? Not exactly. Have we fully changed our direction toward God? We may feel like new men and say, "I will do it my way!" But what happens then? Success? Only temporarily. What we tried to do had the right intentions, but we lost focus on God after he forgave us. Some of us (me) go back to the realization step and start over again. This is when I crawl back to Jesus with my impaled sword in my side to seek His forgiveness yet again. The others who do not go back to Him go a different direction; they begin to compromise.

They make their own rules to fit with what works best for them and how they can gain the most benefit. Sounds like a foolproof plan. The problem is that this plan is not part of God's plan at all. No matter how much good I do, if it is not part of God's plan, it will not last and neither will I. My self-made-man approach will only lead to an endless cycle of lost time and eternal death.

"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. " Isaiah 64:6

To my brethren, who struggle like me, where do we go to change our ways? Who do we call? The answer is Jesus. Once we commit to Him and His commandments, the Holy Spirit will fill our hearts and lives. We have a choice every day, every minute, every second to answer His call and receive His love. With blinders and earplugs on and depending on our rules of compromise only builds a wall between us and Jesus. Once closed, eternal life will be inaccessible. Only Jesus can clean our filthy rags, only He can set before us today life and good. Pray for God's guidance and be honest with yourself and with Jesus.

When I realize the wrong I have done, what choice will I make? What choice will you make?